I always had this image of us, you see. I carried it everywhere I went because I knew that one day we would finally be free of our burdens. I have always believed that we would be able to finally live and have all of the perfect moments we’d ever want. Understand that I have always known that you were the kind of person I could steal horses with. This spontaneity, this joie de vivre!
Picture this: mountains in the horizon, a lake to bathe in, campfires to sing around, summer nights for romance. And when some random chanson française would begin to play on the radio, we’d dance to it—simple as that. We’d probably look quite silly and probably disgustingly adorable to others, but we wouldn’t care.
On quiet days, I’d write and you’d go hiking and take your photographs. I’d come up with the words and you’d provide the melodies after supper. Those serenades… That gentle guitar strumming and that voice that gives me goosebumps every time.
And I still carry this image everywhere I go because true romance is worth the fight and the struggle. It’s what makes romance a romance after all—the longing and the hardships.
Thus I carry that image of us—that image of us celebrating life and love in the countryside— in my spirit’s heart locket.
In many ways, we too fall into the category of the lost generation—our very own kind, of course. Our generation’s ‘lost generation’ quality does not involve living a disoriented postwar kind of life; instead, our generation consists of a threatening information overload that comes from a variety of gadgets that we use on a regular basis. There’s simply too much technology and too much information. Our eyes are glued to computer screens, phone screens—any kind of screen. Even if we possess knowledge at our fingertips, the overflow of information atrophies our minds nevertheless. Ultimately, it hinders our creativity and our wit. We lose our sharpness, becoming dull knives.
Decisively, there’s a spell cast over us, making us behave like brain-dead little robots. Deep down, we’re all just incredibly bored. So we stick our faces to screens in hopes of finding some kind of new information, something that would potentially excite our minds. And perhaps we do find the excitement we crave for, but it doesn’t even last that long. It isn’t even worth it. We feel guilty about the way we spend our valuable time, but the majority of us wastes our precious time anyway. Instead of going for a walk, instead of discovering a new place, instead of meeting new and exciting people, we prefer our technology. We prefer watching episode after episode of our favourite television series. We call ourselves introverts just to avoid the criticism. We prefer this—our Youtube channels, our Tumblr dashboards, our Facebook newsfeed and our Instagram newsfeed. And when we’re finally (finally!) out with our friends, we still find ourselves just glued to our smartphones.
Maybe we’re all just avoiding something. Maybe it’s easier to sit at home and stare at our beloved screens than actually to physically experience life. Perhaps the idea of life is daunting or maybe we’re all just a bunch of addicts.
It’s sad to say but we’re all guilty. In many ways, we are wasting our youth, ruining meaningful relationships and friendships because we are bored to death and don’t know how to entertain ourselves properly. What about late night talks in parks, at bars or at the local cafe—face to face with one another instead of skyping or facetiming? What about making the effort to simply get out and smell the goddamn roses instead of looking at pictures of roses? And all I’ve been saying for the past few years is ‘i want to live, like really live!’ on repeat. I’ve probably said it about a million times. It’s a slow process though—it’s like quitting cigarettes. There’s a real withdrawal symptom: when you lift your eyes up from your screens and realize that there’s nobody there, it’s awfully alarming and depressing.
How tired I am of feeling lost! How tired I am of this boredom! How tired I am of this nothingness that weighs upon my shoulders! How exhausted I am of this pressing guilt that pushes me further into the ground! How I long to feel disoriented in an exhilarating new way! Reality has all these thrills and pleasures to offer us! It has all these poignant experiences for us! Yes, it’s up to us to find them. It’s up to us to create wonderful memories that don’t involve our youthful faces staring at different monitors.
Thus, I’ll be my own compass from now. I’ll find my way out. I’ll find my way in. I’ll find my way someday.
— Solange Statsevich
My beautiful candle arrangement that serves as memorabilia as well as comfort.
we keep messing up.
we keep choosing the wrong things,
as if we’re too old to face the truth,
as if we’re too old to change things around,
but, we’re young, we’re so young!
and we can handle anything,
any kind of tragedy,
any kind of failure,
any kind of disappointment.
but no, we settle on being stupid,
we settle on being cowards,
we settle, we settle, we settle
when the heart beats and beats
and doesn’t leave us alone
reminding us of our youth,
our charm and our beauty.